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El Cuento de la Slumberlonga

Nombres cambiados para proteger los humanos

#1, Finalmente jugé mi nuevo juego con unos hombres *actuales*.  Abrazé Edgar, y después de un minuto, me recordé, "oh right: hang your body from your occiput, Jordana!"  Lo hice.  Y el segundo en que lo hice (even though I wasn't doing anything else, just standing there), él tuvo un orgasmo, right there on the dance floor.  He gasped.  Then he breathed out all his air and wrapped his arm around me tighter.  So I guess my new game is a good one!

Pero conocés bien cómo es, con nuevos juegos.  Necesitás tenerlos sólidos y familiares en practica, para tener a una milonga quizás 20% del juego, y en una lección, tal vez 5 o 10%, con suerte!

Mi amiga la maestra de la Alexander Technique, a la que ("a quien"? "a que"?) he dicho de mi nuevo juego, me preguntó, "Were you hanging from your occiput?"  Yeah...or at least, I tried....
¡Pero esta es una cuenta de las chicas!  —Tuve una muy rara oportunidad para ir a 1935,, beh, charlé con algunas nuevas mujercitas, *eso* estaba de bueno....

One milonguera sat next to me, I asked her where she usually danced, she said, "it's hard, I live in Petaluma, there's nowhere to dance in Marin, the Starfish is not very good, and then I come down to the city but even's not so good.  I go and sit all night, rather than dance a tanda that I don't want to dance."

"I know what you mean," I said.  "I need a *reason* to dance with someone now.  And most of the men just haven't kept up."

"Where do *you* usually dance?" she asked.

"I don't really go out any more," I said.  "It costs $40 or more every time, I can't go the nights I have my kid, when I leave the milonga I have to wander around in the dark, late at night, alone, to get a cab, I get up at 6:30 every morning, and all this would be worth it if I danced, but I know what's waiting for me.  I sit all night, turning men down and hurting their feelings, and maybe dance one tanda with Edgar that's so painfully boring I would almost rather sit down than ever, ever accept him again.  I enjoy turning down my ex-lover, and I particularly like the nights when he tries all night long and I turn him down all night long, but on the other hand, sometimes one simply must dance, so sometimes I dance with him.  And feel impersonal waves of sex rolling off him."  I paused.  "...An average of one tanda per night?  With a boring man or an ex whose ingenue works hard at being nice to me?  Is it really worth the thousands of dollars and the lost sleep?"

She nodded knowingly.  I went on.  "There are a few good dancers who used to dance with me when I was a beginner and who dropped me, for good, and haven't danced with me in two years, no matter what," I said.  "And I respect that!  But why should I keep throwing away money I have so little of when I know for sure that they are not going to dance with me?  I can see my real friends during the day.  I don't have to go to a milonga to see the people I really care about."

....Someone recently introduced me to a beginner tanguerita like this: "this is Jordana!  She is a master of the art of saying no!"  Pero la ironía es, tengo más y más para compartir como milonguera!  Siempre tengo más y más conciencia de mi misma, del baile, de la música, de los hombres, de la conexión, de la pasión y la vida y la pena y la verdad, del abrazo, de cuerpos y corazones...y aún de la técnica.  Sé muy bien que estoy principiante, pero sé también que soy artista.  Principiante *artista*.  ¡Y más y más *añoro* bailar, al palo de mi alma!  *Anhelo* bailar, con todo mi corazón, ahora más que nunca!  Y por eso...siento en mi silla, diciendo no, no, no, no....

....Después me senté entre dos hermosas señoras, interesantísimas, artistas, tangueras verdaderas, milongueras.  Quisimos todas bailar con Amadeo!  ....Entonces, quedamos sentadas como 3 diosas en Mt Olympus, en nuestros vestidos de seda, diciendo no, no, no, aburridas a morir, añorando bailar....

Dije a una, "I miss when I was little and there were lots of men to dance with.  But last fall I tried, once in a while, to grow back down and dance with a few of those men, because I just wanted to dance so much, but it was bad and it started to ruin my technique."  Ella suspiró, en su seda negra ceñida y insinuante, y me dijo, "yes, it's never worth it.  Once you grow up you can't grow back down.  It's never any good."

Y quedamos sentadas....

Y a un otro tiempo, alguien me suspiró, "you're so lucky.  Rafael dances with you."  "Enh, when I let him," I said, dryly.  "Lucky...feh...."  "And what is *up* with those Florecita guys? Why won't they dance with us?  It's so weird!"

"Well, they dance with *her*," I said, gesturing vaguely at Rafael's current Ingenua as they wafted past.  We looked.  We understood.  We were *women*, with a certain amount of awareness about men and life and ourselves.  She was a *baby*, not just young but a tango-baby too.  If what you want is someone who will *only* ooh and aah and marvel at what a Big Stwong Man you are and never meet you as an equal, then...we are going to keep sitting on this couch!

Más que hacemos esta, más que vemos adentro de los corazones de los hombres, sentimos sus núcleos más secretos, les encontramos adentros de sus mismos.  Así se baila, y no en alguna otra manera!  Esta es lo que se llama "tango."  Tango es la verdad, feroz y tierna, y su suavidad es profunda y enorme, no "agradable" o "fácil."  Es el arte de sentir y ser sentido.  Es despiadado y tranquil, brutal y infinitamente delicado, violentamente quieto y suave.  ....There's a line in a little English movie I once saw: "SEX SHOULDN'T BE COMFY!"

Después de la Slumberlonga, no he ido a cualquiera milonga. No tengo el deseo, no puedo, no tengo razón. Mi abrazo es mi abrazo real a mí. Y, quizás, hasta el día en que hay alguien que vale mi abrazo, lo tendré a mí, en mi castello helado.
....In the name of all the promises we break, from the cradle to the grave....

All I Want Is You. U2 live at Slane Castle.

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