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Things People Have Said to Me About Tango

Ones with which I disagree or which I don't find useful

One lane

You're not a real tanguera unless you have at least 10 pairs of shoes.

Leading is infinitely difficult. Following is nothing.

The woman has to surrender herself to the man totally.

The man is the frame and the woman is the picture.

So-and-so is the snobbiest of the snobbies.

It's just a dance.

Everything is fine as long as your husband cannot see.

More resistance! Push harder!

Your free foot should not touch the floor or make any noise.

Drag your free foot.

Women have to rotate their shoes all the time.

Look at the ground whenever you're practicing.

I don't get all this connection nonsense. People talk about it but I don't believe in it.

Ones in which I find a grain of truth that can take me somewhere useful

Two lanes

Any streetwalker can master tango in two weeks.

If you ask the men to dance, they may say yes today, but in six months no one will dance with you.

More opposite is better.

I am the rough, you are the smooth. You are the flower.

Don't think. Feel.

You already know how to do it. It's like it's in your DNA.

It's not rocket science. It's much harder than that.

Bitches, move with your cunts. (Only related to me secondhand, but indispensable.  Attributed to Geraldin Everybody's Favourite Dancer Rojas.)

Have more sex, so you know what that feels like when it's open.

I hate the tango cliques.

One man.  Four legs.

Don't lose the information into a bent knee.

The woman has to plug into the man's chest.  He has to feel like she's actually inside him.

Tango will demand everything of you.

One teacher tells you one thing, another tells you another, and what comes out of you is something else entirely.

The first dance is always crap. If you ever have an amazing, connected first dance with anyone, take them somewhere else and have sex with them.

Tango is a folk dance. It's organic. It's about the embrace.

A little monkey-butt is fine. It comes from African dances, after all.

No resistance.

Your free leg is free.

Tango is a wicked dance.

I feel sorry for all those people who haven't found it yet.

With me. But on your own.

But it is about sex!

It's about seduction. If a man is leading you slowly, it means he's enjoying it. He likes it that way. And you want him to like it.

Tango is not about sex. It's about love.

Ladies who tango are not really ladies.

There is no leader and follower. There is the man and the lady.

You have to be responsible for your own dance. Hang on to it no matter who's leading.

Just be yourself.

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